There have been days when getting ready to do something constructive seems like a big task, there are days when the darkness is so much better than letting the Sun in. Getting out of bed, daunts you and doing something productive is like a punishment. No matter whatever you try, thinking about productivity, planning, talking to friends and guides, nothing can ever take you out of the depressive state you are in. At that low in life, what can infuse some life?
I always thought that I get these creative blocks, when I have so much inside me to write about. When my mind is at its peak to do something but my brain and body are not compliant, it feels as if all that creativity is wasted and I can never be great once again.
There are certain things that I am trying to do to make myself come out of all that low state. I decided not to hide behind a sad face anymore. This is my journey to reach my true potential.
1. Yes, I am a mess, but when I opened up my laptop, when I picked up my tools, it felt so natural. I am a creative person and I feel myself awake, in the moment and present when I am at my table sitting and working. Spinning a creative web is what I am good at.
2. When I am spinning that web, I am not that concerned about what is going on near me, all those things that I need to do take a back seat. It is me and the words and art that flows and everything else is out of focus.
3. It is not a fairytale where I sit and I am healed. It is a struggle every day. To keep myself afloat. Trying to create something every day so that I don’t sink into that abyss.
4. I lose my faith and look for it outside in things that can never entice me completely.
5. I try every day, taking a small step someday and forcing a big one the other day.
Through it all, it has always been my journey. Regaining and re-discovering myself without giving any lame excuse is going to be a struggle.Working on yourself is a daily task and if you have a creative side, it helps you. Don’t take my word for it. Some people are born with it while others work hard for it. From ideation to the finished product, it is hard work. But it is after all my creativity that is going to save me and help me come out of the darkness inside.
A mother of two, Preeti Bhandari is a colloquial writer. She believes in simple living which reflects in her writings. As the Editor of Narisakti, she intends to use her vast experience to propel this platform to a cult status among entrepreneurial networks. When not writing she is quilling, both with paper and thoughts.
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