Questions

My body is the slave of what people will think about me, how I look and how I appear and what I do?

Am I suppose to look this way or talk in this particular manner? Who am I? Am I this person that you expect or do I have an individual identity? I am just a bowl of mixed food that has inputs from a lot of expectations and yet nothing to call my own? I turn here and there in order to find a mirror that would not cage me but free me. I would be a free bird in the sky, perching when I feel like.

I would live the life that I deem fit and not the life that was foreseen by others. I close my eyes and all I see is writing to my heart’s content, typing away in glory. I see myself dance to any rhythm that I find in my head- Hindi, English, Punjabi or any other language! Who is bothered?

Why this botheration has taken a hold of my self-worth? Why has it overpowered my capabilities? But then what are they? What is my worth? Who is to say? Have I silenced my voice beyond recognition? That I only hear the voice of harassment? Am I so far gone?

I may not be alone in this fight, but it is my fight and I feel like this is it! Rock bottom or point of no return? There are so many questions and no apparent answers, do I severe ties, but with whom? Is it just some or all or differentiate between right or wrong?

Am I Lost? Am I found? Am I going down or going up? Who is to say and who is to define what it is? What I am going through, is it self improvement or what? 

There are too many questions and too little answers! Am I a lost soul and would never free myself from the shackles of my own mind?