Why do we struggle with feeling beautiful? Most of us have faced this at one point in our life. Feeling low, rejected and unattractive has become second nature for most of us. Mirrors are no longer friends, and we shy away from any reflection. We have been raised in a focused society where every day we consume a lot of content on how to look good, how to lose weight and how to be better looking. But did we ever stop and accept the way we are?
Be it Christina Aguilera in her song-: I am Beautiful, in every single way, words can’t bring me down.” Or Lady Gaga who sings about acceptance in her song “I am beautiful in my way; coz God makes no mistake…. you were born this way!” Why are we not empowering ourselves? Let’s try to find some reasons.
1. Stress on appearances
Since childhood, so much stress has been put on how one should appear! How one should walk, talk, sit etc. Our standards have always been unattainable or simply rudimentary! Even if you feel like breaking the glass ceiling, you should do it with grace, and poise and look amazing!
2. Lack of awareness
Are we not aware of ourselves anymore? Don’t we know our boundaries and limitations that we need to rely on external validation? Our acceptance of ourselves is now more focused on how many likes we get on social media, and how we appear after zillions of filters online. It has become a world of validation and instant gratification. We no longer derive happiness from who we are.
How to overcome and feel the radiant beauty inside out?
The most important concern for anyone today is to feel that beauty in mind, body, and soul! The change does not happen in one day; it takes various steps and some time to change the way we look at ourselves. But first, let’s dig a bit deeper.
What is beauty?
We find beauty in things we see around us; it is different for everyone. As it depends on one’s perception and the appeal it has on your senses. You develop a connection with it. It provides a sense of happiness and you start associating a memory with it. I find butterflies and flowers beautiful. The rainbows, fresh green lush after the rain mesmerizes me. I attach a memory, some fragrance and a tune to it all. We create an image in our mind so we may relive it and derive happiness from it in the future too. The sensory memory gets embedded in our minds! Alternatively, you can share the memory with someone and make it beautiful for yourself and others too.
The same beauty we most of the time forget to associate with “I, Me”.
What can I do to associate beauty with “me”?
1. Focus on a good deed.
Do a good deed that brings you joy. Start small, no one expects big charities! Give water to someone in a hot summer, feed a stray dog, smile at a stranger! All these are great activities that will help someone else but also feed that happiness to your soul. This will help you smile more, even in the future, satisfaction that you did something good.
2. Stop taking other’s opinions.
We set up benchmarks for ourselves when we start asking others for their opinions of us. We sometimes forget that I need to set up a benchmark for myself. I know the best what and where I stand and how well I can do. Why ask someone how I am looking? Why can it not be a look in the mirror saying- “I look perfect!” We need to let go of all benchmarks!
3. Appreciate your efforts
Most of the time we fixate on the results. Or even how well somebody else did! Stressing over it thinking I can do this so much better! . All these are only pulling you down further. Shift the focus to I have done this, I can try again, even if I do not succeed that does not mean I failed, I achieved something so far! Let’s all stop comparing ourselves with others and compare where we started and what we have achieved so far. And don’t forget to be grateful!
4. Mindful thoughts
How one feels usually defines their self-image. Being beautiful comes from within. Not every day can be a happy day, but when you set your intentions for the day – you can uplift your entire day with that! Find an activity that brings a smile to your face, cultivate it so that it continues to provide you joy and in time you will feel that happiness radiating and there is beauty in that!
Being beautiful does not mean to look a certain way. It is about how you feel about yourself. How you take care of yourself! And what brings you that happiness and builds memories? Treasuring them, reliving them and cultivating your interest is what makes you beautiful. Not your clothes, not the things you own and not the way you look!
What do you think makes you feel beautiful?
A mother of two, Preeti Bhandari is a colloquial writer. She believes in simple living which reflects in her writings. As the Editor of Narisakti, she intends to use her vast experience to propel this platform to a cult status among entrepreneurial networks. When not writing she is quilling, both with paper and thoughts.