How it’s it that year after year, page after page I only end up here. Same place where I
started the only difference is that I have expanded- physically, geographically and in
age. But the mental capacity never changed. I am still troubled, struggle with the same
old stuff and never able to move past the things that have hurt me in the past and still
keep hurting me in the present.
I am fully aware that unless I make changes things will always remain same, and I will
always be stagnant. Sitting out here in the morning breeze feeling grateful that it is so
pleasant right now, so serene! but my mind goes ahead and spoils it by thinking my to
do list and all the stuff that I should have done to make my day better. Is this not the
self-sabotage? Or is there something else? Am I too stuck in my ways to move ahead to
see the positive side of things happening around me? Am I that damaged goods?
Oh my God it is so beautiful out here today! The soft breeze the azure sky and the green
around me! And all I can think about is that I did not sleep last night and I need some
sort of caffeine! I ordered the equipment for my creative sides and the health but when
will I get up from my seat and actually do it? IS this my defense mechanism, but whom
am I defending against or what am I even fighting for? The image in the mirror might not
appear great, but it is still me in there somewhere!
This is not going to be one of those articles where I find a solution, some problems will
never find an answer, but all problems have solutions, just that I am not willing to take
that step! Am I draining myself into oblivion? Life does come full circle!
I hereby close my rant!
A mother of two, Preeti Bhandari is a colloquial writer. She believes in simple living which reflects in her writings. As the Editor of Narisakti, she intends to use her vast experience to propel this platform to a cult status among entrepreneurial networks. When not writing she is quilling, both with paper and thoughts.