Most of us do not know that we are always trying to be noticed, seeking validation from others or simply wanting to be heard. We do actions that may please the other person, or change oneself to meet the expectations of others; in all of this the individual personality is lost, and somewhere the person loses themselves.
The real magic begins when we fade out, go in the background and completely get lost in the sea of people. When the spotlight shifts, in the darkness you see the true colors of others and yourself. I tried it for myself and saw myself in a new light (no pun intended) and others too.
Pressure to be seen
Society always pushes to be seen, heard through social media, achievements. Right from the day the kid is born, comparison with other kids their age. Boasting of the various awards they get or the lack of it, have become a norm today. Society keeps on adding that pressure of expectations and the backpack sure does feel heavy!
Statements like, she did this so much better than you, why are u not more like him and the questions and comparisons never stops!
The art of fading out
There is a difference between disappearing and fading out! Do not let the pressure get to you, simply just go in the background. Make it a conscious choice, agree not to be seen.
I dislike (strongly) being in the spotlight! I try to fade away, don’t participate in active discussions, or make an effort to appear in the spotlight. I rarely give my opinions! Why?
I like to rather observe the other person. How they express their point of view, how opinionated they are. Silence and observation can reveal your own strength in these situations. There is no need to give your opinion when it does not matter. Looking at others, might also reveal something that you would like to change in yourself.
Discoveries in the background
Taking a step back gives you the choice – to speak or not to speak. But more importantly it tells you to be self-aware. How you conduct yourself. What are the habits that may no longer be serving a purpose in your growth. What are your strengths and your own weaknesses? The focus shifts from the other person and you can shed a light within!
When I stopped participating in the endless discussion about who wore what, I discovered I am a simple person and I would rather give importance to the relationships I build and not the collection of my clothes (and save money too!).
Most importantly you discover the people, relatives, friendships who value you without all the noise. And you find your creativity (guess how I got into writing?)
Fading is not permanent
Fading away is not permanent, it is a reset button. A self-discovery mode, where you can separate the truths from the noise!
It is the balance between being in the background with intentions and letting go of your own individuality! When was the last time you cut out all the noises and found yourself and the true faces of people around you?
A mother of two, Preeti Bhandari is a colloquial writer. She believes in simple living which reflects in her writings. As the Editor of Narisakti, she intends to use her vast experience to propel this platform to a cult status among entrepreneurial networks. When not writing she is quilling, both with paper and thoughts.