A wise man once said- the only constant in life is the change. But then why have I not changed? I often end up asking this question at the end of the day.
I have tried so many things to rise above this negativity that even after accepting I am still as clueless as before. In the process I came across many theories, some I even tried but what lies within me, like a musk deer I keep on finding outside.
We often find random reasons not to follow what our heart says! For me, I have a standard response – “I don’t know!” but is it necessary to contemplate or let the mind ramble on and hope that some sense will be made out of it? Well, I don’t know.
Over many years I have made to realize that I underestimate myself and I truly am a force to reckon with. Why do I feel that I have never been able to understand! Is it my innate quality to degrade myself or not holding the mirror at the right angle or just focusing too much on the many flaws? —See I did it again. My entire adult life I can preach but when it comes to practice, I have a separate mirror which can never show any positives.
But now is a time that I make sense of this rambling. I am 37 years old with great educational background and a skill set which is a combination of empathy, pragmatism and a bit of dreamer. And I have to not only accept it but to own it.
There will always be times when I would question my passion and confidence but still it is the age to hold my head high and walk ahead and believe that I am in fact a deer, a musk deer. I need to stop looking for the fragrance outside and start looking inside.
A mother of two, Preeti Bhandari is a colloquial writer. She believes in simple living which reflects in her writings. As the Editor of Narisakti, she intends to use her vast experience to propel this platform to a cult status among entrepreneurial networks. When not writing she is quilling, both with paper and thoughts.