People say that your character is built by the number of rejections you have faced. But what if you never faced any rejection in life? Does it make you privileged? Maybe! Does it make you a ‘Princess’? Definitely not!
Coming from a person who has not faced many rejections in her life, facing one was like a jolt. Something that I am still not able to come to terms with. No doubt, I have had my shares of ups and down. Losing loved ones, gaining a few on the way. But when I got rejected, it was an all-different kind of low.
Being rejected even if it is a small one, like being let go from a job that you feel you are fit for can make you lose sight of your goal. Feelings are hurt, self-esteem and sense of belonging takes a dive into a dark hole. If by feeling sorry or being worried about it would have helped me in some way, I would not be writing about it today. It blinds us from doing something that might actually improve our quality of life and be constructive about the rejection.
1. Did you know that rejection causes physical pain?
Rejection fires up pain signals in the brain that are similar to the toe stub pain or that back pain. Our emotional pain has a way of showing it as physical pain in the body. The pain becomes like a signal that something is wrong with your social well being. Take the physical pain as a signal that something needs to be changed.
2. Did you know that rejection is worse than failing?
Rejection makes us calibrate our life as a whole whereas failure. Failure is linked to a task. When not able to achieve a goal, you can start again and take up another challenge, but with rejection it becomes interpersonal.
3. Did you know that you can choose to react to rejection?
In today’s time we need to learn what sort of rejection it is and what and how we should respond to it. With social media and the internet, we all get rejected several times in a day. Tune in the brain to react to the rejection in the right manner by recognising the right threat and focus on the action.
4. Did you know you can revive?
Make an effort to bring back your self-esteem, focus on your positive attributes and you can bring it to the forefront as an answer to the rejection. It helps to build resilience. It helps to be prepared and a coping mechanism to move ahead.
5. Did you know, you can decide if you care or not?
It might sound silly, but when we decide to give weightage to different aspects in our life, rejection is easy to cope with. We might feel the same kind of pain coming from people we care about and from those we don’t. But training the brain to distinguish to feel the rejection that will help to improve is the one to focus on.
6. Did you know, you can assume the best?
Make allowances for the rejection, rather than feeling sorry for yourself. We usually don’t know the other side of the coin. Choose the assumption that would not sting that much.
7. Did you know, you can actually learn from it and move ahead?
No, I know it is hard. We have become so comfortable with being in pain that we do not want to learn from them. Do not let other people’s opinion matter or dampen your spirit. Learn from it and flow with it. Withdrawing is not an option. Cry, complain or do as you please but never ever give up.
Rejection is not the end of the world, but a new step towards a better version of yourself. Divide your day and set working on course a priority in life.
A mother of two, Preeti Bhandari is a colloquial writer. She believes in simple living which reflects in her writings. As the Editor of Narisakti, she intends to use her vast experience to propel this platform to a cult status among entrepreneurial networks. When not writing she is quilling, both with paper and thoughts.