She and I

“She is all I have and I want to do so much, but I have got so little time left “thought Sarah.

Sarah told John to look out for her precious angel; she is going to be heartbroken. John was more concerned about Sarah rather than their daughter. Sarah was losing a long struggle with cancer. It has been almost five years, but she had a full life.

A young teacher loved by her students and respected by her colleagues. She was a girl next door. She was made in order to be a beautiful wife and a great daughter in law.

When their daughter Nicky was in 7th grade Sarah was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had her lump removed and got better for a while. She was elated when her results came back negative. She has always been a fighter, though she could not fight for her daughter. She has always been busy with her household chores and managing her house and the family.

In her daily duties she forgot that she had a daughter and a beautiful one with a heart of gold. She thought she had enough time to develop her relationship with her daughter. She had John to take care of first, who needed her constantly for small things and big things.

When Nicky came home, she found her grandma and her aunts were at home and instantly knew that her mom must be ill, lately her condition has been deteriorating. She could not see her mother in such a condition so she went to her room and opened her books. She was not a spoiled brat but a shy girl who sometimes acted like a total tomboy. She was blossoming like a flower. But as the time knew her mother’s condition was getting worse. John was not very rich but he took good care of them. He knew his wife was leaving him. Her body was too weak but he never let anyone know that he was losing a fight along with his wife. He knew that certain things are beyond help.

He was praying each and every day for just one more day. He knew it would be difficult without her. The daughter who needs her mother and the husband who needs his wife, it would be an uphill climb.

Nicky started spending more time in school and planning her day in extracurricular activities, just to be away from that dreadful place called home.

She could not understand how her mother would be leaving. They have not talked about anything yet. She never told her how she felt. How upset she was and how lonely she would be. She never shared anything with her but now she wanted to. Being a teenager, she wanted to talk about everything with her mom.

She could not understand why she is leaving her when she needs her the most. Nicky was broken inside but she put on a brave face for everyone so that no one would pay attention to her. She came home, ate whatever was made and shut herself in her room with her books and music to dull out the outside noise.

One day she came home and saw that her mother was critical. She was breathing hard and a nurse was taking care of her. She swallowed her tears and went to her mother’s room.

Sarah was happy to see Nicky home. She knew it was just a matter of days now so she did not want to waste her time with Nicky. She took her daughter’s hand in hers and with tears welling up she said “my angel, I am sorry!”

In those few words she said everything she ever wanted to say to her daughter. She was sorry that she had no time.

She was sorry that she could not see her teenage daughter grow up.

She was sorry that she could not see her daughter graduate or get a job or go on a date. No time to share jokes or anecdotes or simple incidents from the mundane life.

But mostly sorry because she won’t be able to see her daughter as a bride, a married lady and a mother.

Those final words are all Nicky could remember and to get past anything.

Today she is a grown woman, almost at the same age as her mother was when she left her. Everyday, she strives to be her own individual person. She has so many grand plans and so little energy. After all she is her mother’s daughter.

Nicky has 2 beautiful daughters and plans everything and participates in their life. She makes sure that her daughter doesn’t ever feel that she doesn’t love them. Be it a school function or a debate, she always extends her support. After all time is one thing that has taught her, that no matter how much you try, you can not outrun it.

Nicky now knows that she can defeat a disease(hopefully) but never defeat the time that constantly takes away the power. In a hope she continues every day.