Mothers worldwide have one thought in their mind- a happy, healthy, well-rounded child. Is it too much to ask for? But then isn’t it the duty of the parents to provide them with a conducive environment to grow like that? Letting the children become their own person is what parenting is about.
When everyday decisions could affect the child, mothers tend to be extra cautious. The role of the mother is very crucial in shaping up the child. In one part, she wants to be her daughter’s friend (even son); on the other hand, she also wants to ensure that she does not take a wrong turn. I recently talked to Sameeksha and her daughter and their beautiful relationship.
It all started with a beautiful story! Siddhi wanted to celebrate her birthday by buying ice cream for the entire family as a treat. Nowadays, most kids wish their parents to buy them dolls and small parties for their friends. But Siddhi did not. Sameeksha is a businesswoman who helps many people earn something extra from the side gig (read more). She told her to make enough money to buy the ice cream herself. Due to Pandemic, it was not like she could set up the lemonade stall under her house. She created a catalog of her artwork and shared it with the family to urge them to buy something from her. The family did buy some of her paintings and she earned enough to give the family a treat and save some. Sameeksha encourages her to be who she is and not forcing her to be anything other.
The story is delightful; however, it also shows us a great way of modern-day parenting.
1. Teaching Value of Money
Children today need to know how much things cost. They have to be their own person. What is a luxury and what are essentials? How hard one needs to work to sustain the family and provide for them and everyone can contribute to it.
These are some fundamental aspects that a child needs to know. They should not feel like outsiders in a family meeting. They need to understand how hard parents work to give them what they want. In western countries, children work to earn an allowance. When they are old enough to do a part-time job, they help out around the house to contribute to their education funds. Kids today understand that efforts are made to enjoy the perks. They know the value of money and all the hard work behind it.
2. Having honest conversations
For mothers, their kids will always remain children; they can never stop caring for them. But the balance needs to be maintained where they are given enough space to become their person. For such a conducive environment, they need to come up to their parents. Kids see their parents as authority figures and sometimes shy away from sharing. As a mother myself, I feel it is essential to have open and honest conversations with the children. They should be able to come and speak their heart out, without the fear of being judged or told what to do! Do not punish them for being curious.
3. Importance of life skills
Our kids have all the luxuries we can provide without working for it. They feel entitled; however, life skills are necessary. The kids should know how to do basic chores around the home. They should have a sense of responsibility towards themself and the worldly things around them. Mothers play a crucial role here. Children learn and understand a lot when they observe. As a parent, if we were not careful about our expenditures and working around the house, the children would never learn. Involve them in making family decisions- What would you like to have for dinner today? Do we need a new couch?
Their involvement provides them with a sense of belonging and feeling like adults; shutting them down by saying they are too young to understand makes them edgy.
Exposing the kids to the right environment and not sheltering them helps them understand their surroundings. If a 7-year-old can learn the power of her work, marketing herself. Kids are now bright, having a high EQ. They need a friend in their mothers and also a protector. Mothers, it is not going to be easy, but Sameeksha learned it from her mom, and she is imparting the same to her daughter! She is here because of her mother’s best efforts.
A mother of two, Preeti Bhandari is a colloquial writer. She believes in simple living which reflects in her writings. As the Editor of Narisakti, she intends to use her vast experience to propel this platform to a cult status among entrepreneurial networks. When not writing she is quilling, both with paper and thoughts.